SHARATH
his prodigal father, and his caring grandpa

"One half of the world is ignorant how the other half lives. The misfortunes of the great are held up to engage our attention, and the world is called upon to gaze at the noble sufferers. The great, under the pressure of calamity, are conscious of several others sympathizing with their distress; and have, at once the comfort of admiration and pity. There is nothing magnanimous in bearing misfortunes with fortitude when the whole world is looking on: men in such circumstances will act bravely even from motives of vanity; but he who, in the vale of obscurity, can brave adversity, who without friends to encourage, acquaintances to pity and pray, or even without hope to alleviate his misfortunes, can behave with tranquility and indifference, is TRULY GREAT… they undergo more hardship in one day than all those of exalted station suffer in their whole lives; everyday to them is a day of misery, and yet they endure their hard fate without repining." -Oliver Goldsmith.

I have met one such great person: Malarvizhi, mother of Sharath. Nine year old Sharath and his mother(now about 30 years old) fell into a destitute situation when the father abandoned the family. Sharath was then just two years old. His father was upset by the knowledge that his son was badly disabled, and he simply walked out and disappeared.

It is about five years now, and the mother still hopes that the father would come back one day. Because her son will be cared for in Pathway, she hopes that the father would come back to see the sea change in their child. She is taking pains to send a signal to her husband through every possible channel she can think of, to every place he is likely to hover around. She is really worried about his welfare, even though he hadn't been an ideal husband, for he used to tease her with demands of dowry.

Come and see your son, see how he is beautifully improving, she wants to show him, and yearns for reunion of the family. She wouldn't be surprised if he has married again, but she surely wants to show to him what she has been able to achieve for their son Sharath, who is her all, her whole world. This child is a special gift of God to us and ensures that my salvation is at hand and my past karmic debt is cut asunder and I will have no rebirth, she declares confidently. She is only anxious that her husband might be condemning himself to some worse fate after leaving the wife and child. She has no bitterness in her heart but only pity and love. And she prays a great deal. She spends hours every week at the Minjur Murugan Temple, pleading on behalf of her husband.

First she used to work as a maidservant somewhere earning less than Rupees 750 per month on part-time as she had to find the necessary time to look after her son who had such severe disability. She was advised by a hospital in Royapuram to approach Pathway for assistance. Sharath was examined in Pathway and was diagnosed as a child with cerebral palsy-spastic-quadriplegia with mental retardation. He was found to be doubly incontinent and suffered from epileptic seizures.

On the condition that Malarvizhi would stay at Pathway and look after her son, this child was admitted. Soon she evinced great interest not only in improving the condition of her child but also in helping other similar children. She started to look after the needs of many children. She treats them all like her own child and plays with them.

It was decided that she could receive a small salary of Rupees 800 in addition to food, clothing and medical care. Her boy has been doing quite well despite his disability. He is now in a position to sit independently, can now understand simple commands quite well, and tries to communicate through speech to a minimal level. His problems such as drooling of saliva have reduced to some extent. The major progress in this child is that his epileptic seizure is under total control. The mother and the child are very happy at Pathway, as she is able to experience great love and concern from all the sources. Now and then her mind goes back to her husband and she hasn't abandoned hope. I don't mind even if he has married anew but I want him to come and see what I have done for our child, she says.

Her own parents are very supportive to her and her child. They had been exemplary parents and they had given her everything. Their love supplements her endeavors now. Her father particularly, that is, the child's grandfather, is extremely fond of his grandson. He retired as a telephone operator. He carries on long conversations with Sharath here, talking more like he was talking to himself all the time, but they seem to understand each other perfectly. They have so much to say to each other.

He is full of anecdotes and stories, and he enjoys telling Sharath all, especially those involving his clever interventions as a peacemaker between rival groups in his village. It makes the boy laugh heartily, and I have listened and laughed with them. He has patched up many broken relationships in others' lives though he feels lost when it comes to his own son-in-law.

In one village, it seems, a holy man was planning to build a temple but could not decide where to build it, till one day he heard a glad report about the change of heart in two brothers who had been mortal enemies for a long time. One night one brother was carrying a bag of rice as a surreptitious gift to the other one, and he collided with someone from the opposite side carrying a similar bag, of vegetables, somewhere in the middle of a field. It was none other than that other brother. It was decided that the Temple should be built on that very spot where the two met in happy collision and reconciliation.

Suddenly teardrops would appear in his eyes in the middle of a story, and he would wipe them with his palms, and groan, I don't know what I would do if I had no one to talk to, I have my little Sharath and his friends who will listen to me any length of time with avid absorption.

These are times when more and more grandpas and grandmas are getting dumped into old age and destitute homes without any further meaning to their lives because they have no grandchildren around who can listen to them. It would be a good idea to bring some of them to live in the new Agro farm Project of Pathway. Sharath's Grandpa and I would gladly join. We could organize dramas for enactment by the kids and also act in them, why not.

I said I was a lonely oldman myself, all my near ones being far away in another country, and what great consolation it was to chat with Sharath and his grandfather. I too love stories, and I like to tell them to children, dramatically with action. I told them a story about Little Tree, an American Indian boy of Sharath's age, and Sharath will enact his role one of these days in a Pathway celebration. Sharath understood my plan and stretched out his hand to touch my face to convey his appreciation. It is his characteristic gesture of approval.

One day when Little Tree was about to be struck down on the face by a rattle snake in the bush, his grandpa from behind instantly interposed his hand between the boy's face and the snake and took the hit straight on his own big open palm before the boy could even guess what was happening. Grandpa fainted and was dying, but Little Tree ran instantly and fetched Grandma, who knew how to treat snakebite. She then removed all her own clothes and covered the old man in them against the shivering cold and fever. The first thing grandpa did on regaining consciousness was the administration of a stern reprimand to Grandma for positioning herself out there like a statue in the nude. I told this story to Sharath and his grandpa, and we three laughed and laughed, till Sharath once again touched my face and mumbled something. What is he saying, I inquired his grandpa. He smiled and told me, Sharath is telling you to act the Grandma.