SNIGLETS , and FENG SHUI

As with any other skill in life so with a language like English: the younger a child starts learning it, the faster he will learn it and more correctly, and that is our plan. While traditional methods of teaching and learning English have concentrated more on reading and writing skills, the importance of communicative English, listening and speaking skills, cannot be overemphasized. While examinations are assumed to give an indication of the development of a child's reading and writing skills, there is a growing criticism that the schools are yet to develop suitable methods for testing a child's communicative skills. The British Council has introduced in India the Young Learners English Tests for various levels, which will not be a terror to the child like the usual examinations but will test and promote the skill in a non-threatening and even pleasant and enjoyable way. The principle and philosophy behind the scheme is that no child should fail the test! The child is enabled to understand his own strengths and weaknesses in the skills and take the initiative to improve himself and go about further learning enthusiastically. We are in touch with the experience of schools who are successfully trying out this system and we are processing its introduction here.

With this we hope our children will rise above the type of mistakes which frequently make Indian English a great subject of hilarious amusement to ourselves as well as to those abroad. For instance, imagine one of our students is asked to watch a cow on this farm and to write something about it, and he writes as follows:

In the recent UPSC examinations, a candidate has written an essay on the Indian cow:

The cow is a successful animal. Also he is quadrupud, and because he is female, he give milk,but will do so when he is got child.He is same like God,sacred to Hindus and useful to man.But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards.

His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. What can it do? Various ghee, butter,cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally.

His motion is slow only because he is of asitudinious species. Also his other motion is much useful to trees, plants as well as making flat cakes in hand and drying in the sun. Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside of the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass.

His only attacking and defending organ is the horn, specially so when he is got child. This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great velocity forwards.

He has got tails also, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies which alight on his cohoa body whereupon he gives hit with it.

The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch. So the grasses head is not crushed. At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he shouts his eyes like his relatives, the horse does not do so.

This is the cow.

P.S.: We are informed that the candidate passed the exam.

The Hindu Newspaper had published it in its Young World section, with the comment: "The use of English can shock just as easily as it can delight. While parents may complain of a "strengthy syllabus" and our Physical Training Master ask the students to stand in a "straight circle", what is worse is when science or history teachers correct English answer papers for the school leaving final examinations..."(not that even they could accept that humorous dissertation on cow untouched!)

Blessed with the wealthiest vocabulary in the history of mankind, most English-speakers might feel they have a word for anything and everything, but not even the English Language can cast its net over all the things and ideas of life, points out Richard Ledderer in his book, "The Miracle of Language."As wondrously vast as the English vocabulary may be, there remain a surprisingly large number of concepts for which we still do not have good and serviceable words. Which is perhaps part of the reason why that UPSC student, or for that matter anyone, could not convey perfectly what all he felt about the cow.

When that funny cow essay was presented before a gathering of our own students and teachers for attempting corrections to it, as a sort of game, and improvements invited, little -------- instantly gave the whole topic a caption "Kamadhenu", indicating by that one word the large range of benefits we derive from the cow, from cow dung fuel to condensed milk..

We know that English has a very mixed history, with countless words from other languages entering it continually, like words from French, Latin and Greek and so on, but it is said that currently the biggest influx is from Indian languages. Words like Karma (indicating action entailing its consequences, action and consequences intertwined inseparably), and Manas (the sense-mind as opposed to the reasoning mind), and the now well-worn Maya (with greater philosophical implications than the word Illusion, fully to understand which we might have to go to Sri Aurobindo or Tagore), or Nirvana (dissolution, extinction of ego, desire, and egoistic action and mentality), are some examples. Our teachers came up with these examples and a few other words and seemed to carry the day, till a tiny tot ----- suddenly uttered a strange cry: "VIPRA! VIPRA!" her outstretched arm pointing to the tail end of the cow that we were watching in the field. The tail that was frightening away the flies.

Is it like copra, or a whip in use to drive away the insects landing on the body of the cow, I wondered, and anyway what language was it? I offered many suggestions to the child in an attempt to extract her intended meaning or reason for the use of such an unfamiliar word for the oscillating cowtail, but she wouldn't budge, she simply repeated Vipra Vipra again and again and would say nothing more.

John Locke created the word BILLION. Jonathan Swift created the word "YAHOO". Samuel Foote first said "UGH". Bernard Shaw gave birth to "SUPERMAN". Karel Capek discovered "ROBOT". And Shakespeare is credited with coining over two thousand words; he simply manufactured a word when he wanted to say something for which no existing word was adequate or appropriate! Any word that doesn't appear in a dictionary but should is called a sniglet, according to Led. Our children are more enterprising than Shakespeare.

Led bemoans the sad fact that there are no words proper for LOVE in the English Language, can you believe. Any Indian language can loan a dozen. The English speaking people are not able to distinguish among types, objects and degrees of affection, different relationships etc which is the cause for all the confusion and chaos in practical conduct of life. LOVE, LOVE is all that we have, all-purpose and indiscriminate do-it-all. Love your God. Love your new hat, cat or maid. Love gambling. Love music. Love country. Love to marry. Love not to marry. Love your roommate. Or business partner. It is all the same. With the result that it is becoming more and more difficult, drab and empty to say, "I love you!" when you really need to say it.

"This place is particularly suited for the evolution of sniglets, " commented our Volunteer Kiru, while taking a guided tour of the campus with me and Chandra, adding: "Because of the good feng shui. Creativity next only to gardening." Listen to the birds and the bees and the rustling leaves and the giggling of little children from the villages.

-----A Report from Kiru